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Love that Leads

Relationships are tricky things. Most of us hate feeling vulnerable, so we hesitate to put too much on the line. Of course if we hold back too much, the other person may perceive us as cold and uncaring. We know this, so we look for the smallest glimmers of acceptance, hoping that we can establish contact.

This is played out in superficial ways in confined spaces where people are thrust together - I’m thinking of public transit, elevators, and the like. Some people seem to have a deep need to connect and so make comments to ease their tension. Others seem to have a deep need for privacy and so avoid eye contact and remain expressionless hoping no one speaks to them.

More significantly, this phenomenon occurs in more substantial social settings, like families. Sometimes little children are desperate to connect with their parents, who, it seems, want to be left alone. The opposite can be true when the kids hit the teenage years. The parents are often the seekers of relationship then, and the children insist on distance.

These situations arise from time to time in all families and on an occasional basis are not problems, but when these ways of relating (or maybe I should say “not relating”) become chronic and entrenched, alienation and deep pain can result. Feelings of rejection are among the bitterest known to human experience.

The most meaningful relationship we will ever have is the one we have with God. Regardless of your personal inclinations and comfort in social interactions, it’s good to know that He takes the initiative. If you are the kind of person who loves to reach out and relate, it is a joy to find that God is reaching out to you and wants to connect. If you are the kind of person who struggles with new relationships, wishing to maintain your personal space, it is a comfort to know that you don’t have to make the first move. God has already made Himself vulnerable by declaring His love and waits patiently for you to respond to Him.

The apostle John wrote: “We love Him because He first loved us.” [1 John 4:19] Through the death of Jesus on the cross in our place, God laid His love on the line. He took that first, most difficult, step in establishing a relationship. Since taking that initiative, He waits. He waits for you to return the love He has already extended to you. He has taken the lead. Will you follow?

When it comes to love, there’s a world of difference between love that remains safely passive and love that takes the risks and leads the way.

Ron Hughes
© September 2008