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Is Nice Enough?

One of the big challenges for Western Christians today is finding an appropriate response to the “culture of niceness” in which we live. For as long as I can remember, the culture at large has valued what I’m calling “niceness,” but it has reached new levels of commitment in recent years.

“Niceness” is characterized by things like superficiality, pleasantness, tolerance, and an academic interest in all things equally. These values ensure that no one gets the impression that he or she feels in any way unacceptable or unworthy, experiences confrontation, senses he or she is under the suspicion or judgment by another.

In our "culture of niceness" there are only a few people we won’t accept: those who have clear expectations of our character or behaviour, those who limit themselves to one set of philosophical assumptions so they cannot adapt to those around them, those who insist on talking about having a definite sense of right and wrong, those who judge or are intolerant of others’ personality, character, preferences, habits, weaknesses, flaws or limitations.

The challenge for today’s Christian is that we are part of the larger culture. Truth be told, we started the trend. It used to be that Christians were the nicest people around. The Christian values of mercy, grace, forgiveness, gentleness, humility, among others, distinguished those who held them from the general population. But all of these presuppose a transcendent moral code. Mercy is extended to the condemned, grace to the unworthy, forgiveness to the sinner, gentleness to the weak and humility to all, for we are all susceptible to failure of one kind or another.

The culture at large has no sense of righteousness, a divine moral code, of sin. Therefore, it has no use for Christian virtues. Indeed, it is offended by them because they imply the recipient is wrong, is unworthy, has committed an offence, has sinned, or is weak in some way. It prefers to elevate “niceness” which excuses mistakes, makes all equally worthy, rejects the idea of sin, and turns weakness into a political cause.

Niceness is a perversion of Christian virtues. It denies the fact of a divine standard for human behaviour and our failure to meet it. It serves no one well because it does nothing to help us make moral progress. It fails to remind us of the reality of our accountability to God. It keeps us from lovingly confronting sin in our relationships and forces us to pretend that we are never injured, harmed, wronged, or disappointed. The psychological ramifications of this need to be studied. It also keeps us from pointing out sin against God and forces us to pretend that God's love trumps His holiness; His mercy commutes every sentence; His grace makes us all worthy, His forgiveness disregards every offence, for no other reason than the "fact" that God, too, is "nice," just as we are. The spiritual ramifications of this need to be considered carefully.

In the "culture of niceness," Christian virtues don’t cut it. They are just not, well... nice. But given the Christian’s convictions about divine holiness, human sinfulness, and final judgment, to merely be nice is unrighteous. To assist others in maintaining the delusion that everyone is OK and that in the end, if there is an end, Jesus will prove to be more nice than holy, is irresponsible and a denial of the charge He left with those who follow Him. Preaching the gospel and making disciples is not about making people be nice. It’s about making them like Jesus.

Ron Hughes
© August 2007