Foolish Vows
Making vows is more associated with the Old Testament than the New. All of the instructions regarding vows come from the Old Testament. Jesus sidelined the practice with His teaching in Matthew 5 when He said: "Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and your ‘No’, ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." (Mt 5:37) A follower of Jesus should live in such a way that no one would question whether or not what he did would line up with what he said.
In the Old Testament, vows were taken very seriously. Even foolish, rash, and ill-conceived vows were to be fulfilled. In a culture where making and keeping vows was often public and seen as a mark of spirituality, Solomon stated that it would be better not to vow than to vow and not fulfill it. (See Ecclesiastes 5:5)
Outside of wedding ceremonies, we don't hear much about vows anymore. But that's not to say that vows don't exist. While vows to God are uncommon, vows to ourselves are quite prevalent and while there is no spiritual pressure to keep those vows, we often do keep them to our own hurt. It seems that we have some inner sense that vows must be kept and we can be in bondage to them.
Vows are typically tied to the future. The often take the form "If this happens, I will do that." Sometimes they are negative "If this doesn't happen, I'll never do that again." The big problem here is that the future often doesn't turn out the way we thought it would, especially since we have so little control over it. Circumstances can easily arise which make our vow "unkeepable." Having intentions and making plans are much less psychologically binding on us than making vows.
Some vows are tied to the decisions and actions of someone else. For example, some lovesick souls make vows like, "If so-and-so won't marry me, I'll just live without love until I die." One needs to be careful committing to things like that. It is probably stated with the full assurance that so-and-so will enter into marriage and without having given serious thought to what it would mean to condemn oneself to "living without love until I die."
Usually, vows are stated in absolute terms, without any way to accommodate mitigating circumstances. That is part of what gives them their power. They are absolute statements of commitment and typically invoke words like "always" or "never." So we find people saying things like "If they ever let drums into this church, I'll never come back." Or, equally foolish, "If they don't get drums into this church, I'll never come back." The Bible has nothing to say about drums, for example, but a lot to say about the necessity of Christian community.
As I write this, I've just witnessed the results of someone's vow which has removed him from the church fellowship where he has been his entire life. The issue was not biblical, but he was on record with one of those "if x happens, then y will follow," type of vows. People who put themselves in this position not only have to deal with the pressure of their own commitment to keep the vow, they have to deal with the knowledge that others will see them as fickle if they don't keep the vow (but foolish if they do).
Making vows is a natural response to the threat of change or fear of what might or might not happen. We sometimes try to manipulate others (including God) and thus control the future. After all, if I tell this woman I'll never love again if she doesn't marry me, that will motivate her to accept my proposal. Wrong! If I promise God I'll never commit this sin again if He'll just keep me from getting caught this time, He'll protect me. Wrong! Examples abound.
The best way to handle vows we make to ourselves or anybody else is to take Jesus words seriously. Let our "yes" be "yes" and our "no" be "no." This will free us from the bondage to vows in which we trap ourselves.
Ron Hughes
© January 2008
