Community
Individualism and independence are highly valued in our culture, to the point of being exaggerated. People take pride in their ability to “go it alone,” whatever “it” might be. We speak frequently of our exploits in first person singular. We take sole credit for accomplishments which others made possible.
All of this leads to fragmentation and isolation. To protect ourselves and our reputation as “self-made persons,” we fail to connect deeply. Real intimacy eludes us. Across the culture, sex has become the stand in for intimacy. Too often, people substitute superficial physical connections for deep interpersonal relationships. This allows us to avoid making our “real self” vulnerable to things like criticism, rejection and emotional pain of various kinds.
I am amazed at how fragile most of us have become. Instead of being able to accept and benefit from constructive criticism, evaluations, suggestions, we take them personally and withdraw. Are we deluding ourselves with fantasies of personal perfection? Do we not recognize that the way others perceive us could be more accurate than the way we see ourselves? After all, they have the vantage point of objectivity which we lack!
God designed us to be in community. That’s the environment where we reach our full potential. Are you afraid of looking bad? Think about this: To come across as strong, make yourself vulnerable. Open yourself to the positive contributions of others. They have more to offer than you imagine.
Sure, some will be negative. They will put you down to puff themselves up, but even this can work in your favour. It provokes deep self-examination. That’s good. Only after you consider comments carefully can you separate the useful from the useless, benefitting from the former and remaining unscathed by the latter.
All members of the human race are more closely linked than most of us find comfortable. Inevitably, because we share the planet and the same physical and spiritual needs, we are connected. We are part of a global community which demands a lot from us. Sometimes, we can learn most from those we like least. After all, those closest to us are likely to share our cultural blind spots. So honour the broader human community as well as the narrow one which supports and nurtures you.
Christians find themselves challenged by this quotation from a letter of the apostle Paul. “Therefore, putting away lying, ‘Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,’ for we are members of one another” (Ephesians 4:25 NKJV).
Everything I’ve said about community in general is especially true within the specific community we call “church”–the spiritual family with which we identify. We are individuals, but we also have that corporate identity. We are a community. We must be particularly careful to be truthful with each other. For members of any community to lie to each other degrades the bond that holds them together. As members of the church, we are “members of one another.” We are mystically connected to each other in a way that defies analysis. As followers of the One who embodies the Truth, we deceive ourselves if we claim a right to deceive others.
The New Testament uses the expression “one another” over 80 times, the word “together” 125 times and the word translated “church” or “assembly” more than 70 times. Community is a major theme of God’s communication with humanity. We ignore it at our peril. We embrace it for our blessing and the blessing of the whole community.
