If I were to catch you someday when you're mentally idle perhaps just daydreaming and I were to ask you "What do you think you'd have to do to become a really happy fulfilled person?" what would you say? Most people seem to respond in a fairly narrow way. The range of things they'd like to change is not very large - job, geography, family, financial situation. They'd probably be able to explain at some length why the change they long for would make them feel happy and fulfilled.
Most of us do daydream about things like those. We see people who look like they're happy, we imagine some details of their lives and we decide if we had what they had, we'd be happy too. It doesn't take long to point out the fallacies of such thinking. You can never know all the details of the lives of the people you look at and admire and seek to copy. You don't know the prices they've paid to have the things they have and to be the people they are. You may simply not have the resources to ever be able to achieve the kind of life you think you admire. (Intellectual, emotional, material, physical money doesn't buy everything.)
As we experiment with things that we hope will make us happy, most of us find that there was false advertising we were not made aware of the: disadvantages, hidden costs, transience, terms. A few weeks ago I was speaking to a group of people about some of these things. They liked the idea that a lot of the problem of dissatisfaction comes from the actual goal we set. It seems that if we look at things or people to make us happy, we're likely to be disappointed.
One of the things that came up in the discussion was that in the Bible, Paul challenges us to "seek those things which are above" or, phrased another way, to "set our hearts on things above." (Colossians 3:1-4) That's really significant advice. In general I've noticed that the happiest and most fulfilled persons are the ones who aren't focussed entirely on being happy and fulfilled. They have higher goals - a focus outside of themselves and what they think they can achieve.
Two people may have similar houses. One enjoys his, the other can't wait to move. One of the reasons for this has to do with expectations. If you expect the house to make you happy, you'll likely be disappointed. It's usually pleasant to move into a new house, but then the routine sets in, the unexpected expenses show up, the little disadvantages you thought you could ignore start to really bother you.
On the other hand, those who see their house as a place where happy times are had, seem to enjoy it more. They connect with others and help them. They make happy memories with family. The issue is that they aren't looking at the house itself to generate happiness. Regardless of whatever material goals you set for yourself you can be sure there are a lot of people have those things and are not happy and a lot of people who don't have those things are who are happy.
That's why the Bible tells us to not focus on the things themselves. So how do we change our focus? How do we move from having irrational desires and expectations concerning the things which we look to for happiness and fulfilment?
Let me read a little to you from Paul's letter to the Christians in Colosse. "If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth." We can do a great deal to control our desires by controlling our thoughts. So Paul tells us here that if we want to have the right desires, we need to think the right thoughts. Elsewhere he tells us we can be transformed by the renewing of our minds. This concept of effecting major change in our lives by directing our minds has been observed even by people who are generally antagonistic toward the Bible and its message.
Today we've thought about the things that people think will make them happy and fulfilled. There are lots of things in life which might give us pleasure and even an degree of satisfaction, but as ends in themselves, these things are a disappointment. Truly it is God who provides us with worth and gives life meaning. Today, I invite you to accept His offer of salvation through faith for now is the day of Salvation.
Ron Hughes
© March 2007